Monica Foster commentary: I’m far from being a fan of Nina Hartley, but it seems she’s finally decided to tell the truth about what she would have done differently. Her advice in regards to men (suitcase pimps namely) isn’t just something pornstars should listen to, it’s something that women in general need to realize.
I have a feeling I’ll continue to remain single for a very, very, very long time.
Nina Hartley was a recent guest of the Two White Guys YouTube show. There was some choice moments in the 10 minute broadcast with host Jason Horton in which Hartley came down on her ex-husband David Hartley though she didn’t mention him by name.
According to Hartley, she made her first adult video in 1984. “And I just did one last week.” Hartley says she makes adult films because she has a strong message to bear about sexuality, i.e., of a woman being enthusiastically involved with sex.
“Hey, this is fun. After 900 movies and 1,000 scenes I still like going to work.”
Hartley said it’s been gratifying to know that she’s been able to deliver messages that help people in their personal lives long after the movie’s over.
If she could go into a time machine back to 1984 Hartley would ditch the husband.
“Ditch the suitcase pimp husband, loser, no-good husband,” she advises.
“I tell every young woman don’t be in a relationship that doesn’t support you. Be smart about money. I would have told that to my younger self.
“I would have learned more about the technical end of the business,” Hartley concedes.
“How do cameras work? I’m tech-challenged and that’s too bad. I would have taken more interest in the behind the camera world. How do business dealings work? How do the technical things work? The more technical things you know the more control you have over your message. You can edit it the way you want to make sure it’s what you want.”
Hartley also said what you see her doing on camera are the same things she likes doing at home.
“They don’t pay us enough to pretend that much.”
“Get single. Get smart about money and learn about the business part of it,” Hartley summarizes.
“But I would still have gotten into porn- absolutely, and I’m not sorry.”
Overall, Hartley said she got into porn “because that’s where all the naked women are,” noting that it’s a lot easier for a woman to get a man than a woman getting another woman.
“In our culture it’s very easy for a woman to get free penis. You walk into a bar, and go you follow me home and we’ll see what happens. It might not be good penis but I can get it for free. In our culture men don’t get it for free. They have to pay for it outright with either cash or the promise of a relationship or lying, whatever. Men in our culture have to offer something.
“If women say I want to trade you sex and pleasure, men are programmed to say, ‘you slut…you whore…you’re dirty. I don’t want to be with you.’
“So she has to pretend to be purer than she is or have less passion than she might have. You have to pretend to have more interest in romance and an emotional connection for it to be okay before it blows up in one’s face.”
According to Hartley, sex is a physical sport.
“And you need a lot of practice.”
“I don’t know about you, but I’ve had a lot of bad sex over the year,” adds Hartley.
“I’ve not had horrific experiences but a lot of oh man, really? Uggggh.”
Hartley has a 38-part sex education series from Adam & Eve called the Nina Hartley Guides.
Hartley said the reason she makes these movies is so that people at home can get enough confidence and information to have happy sex.
Porn sets aside, according to Hartley she’s never picked a guy up in a bar and had sex with someone she just met.
“I could see where that would be fraught with danger and worry.”
“You’re drunk? Good idea.”
Having taken that dynamic out of her equation, Hartley says her sex comes from movie sets, swing parties.
“Places where people congregate with the intention of being sexual, so we can talk about it.”
Hartley said she’d like to see people discuss what they like in bed the same way they discuss their favorite meals.
Check out the interview for yourself at: www.youtube.com/watch?v=DgsbvvEDpOI